How to fall in love with your ShadowBy Linda Emslie on 27 April 2019
This is the most powerful aspect of self-love. Learning to embrace your Shadow, to shine the light into the dark and see in truth all the facets that make up you, and to learn to be at peace with what you find.
Being at peace, like forgiveness, doesn’t mean pretending to be ok about someone or something. It is a powerful state of being which encompasses self-knowledge, compassion, healing, discernment and finally detachment. As mentioned in part 1 of this series, we each enter this realm with our own lessons to learn. Our Shadow provides rich material for self-awareness and personal development.
Rather than throwing yourself straight into the mire and wrestling with the Shadow – let’s face it, at the beginning of the process that Shadow is very strong, almost irresistible – you can be strategic and pick tools and supports that you feel drawn to.
Here are a few to get you started …
Finding a mindset coach to work with is a great way to help you identify the form of your Shadow and to start making inroads into the power it has over you right now. As mentioned in part 2 of this series, this is an important part of the process for tapping into the power of your Shadow side. That is, to see it, get to know it and ultimately, to own it.
Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping)
This wonderful healing tool really helps root some of the toxic emotions the Shadow can bury in your nervous system. There are some powerful resources for you to access online, but if you are really struggling, connecting with a practitioner of Emotional Freedom Technique (or tapping) teaches you a fabulous tool for self-care in the long term.
Again, this is like having a conversation with yourself that can really help identify what’s going on for you, and to ultimately help you develop your own personal solution. The trick is to keep asking questions, and to not settle for what bubbles to the surface on the first round of questioning. The other key to this is the type of question you ask. For example, you want to phrase your question in such a way that it sends your mind questing for all the reasons, solutions and strategies to change the way your Shadow intersects with your world. Tony Robbins is a great starting point for learning how to ask yourself empowering questions.
Allow yourself to be in a meditative state and use your imagination, sense or feeling to help you own different parts of your Shadow. You may be surprised at the form they take.
For instance, one particular time I was exploring some of my blocks around money and invited my fear of lack to join me.
I quieted my mind and allowed my imagination to paint a scene. I found myself sitting in a twilight park on a wooden bench seat. When I invited the idea of lack to join me Lady Catherine de Burgh (the nasty aunt in Pride Prejudice) sat down beside me. That was an interesting conversation!
What strength does this offer?
Working with your Shadow, offers you the opportunity of knowing yourself completely. It is the ultimate act of self-love. Having compassion for those parts of you that make you feel uncomfortable allows you to find compassion, understanding and kindness for other aspects of your life.