The year has turned so fast, it seems. Here we are on the brink of Christmas and I wanted to talk a little about giving and receiving. Or more importantly, is it better to give than to receive?
What’s wrong with giving?
The idea that giving is an innate feminine quality that empowers our ability to be all things to all people is a dangerously misguided fable! It’s an idea that boxes us into an ill-fitting role and depletes our reserves to dangerously low levels.
In fact, it’s one of the major areas of depletion in the makeup of nearly every woman I’ve worked with over the last 10 years or so.
Let’s look at this idea through
the lens of Yin-Yang energy dynamics.
Let’s look at the energy of giving and receiving, rather than the surface actions only.
The energy of giving flows outwards. There is an expansiveness to it that projects from inner resources to external receivers and carries the unspoken understanding that “there’s more of this where that came from!” More than that, in our society it often comes with the burdensome underlying vibration of obligation that is so deep we’re not aware of it and intertwined with that is the unconscious thread of expectation.
It’s an unspoken one that exists simultaneously deep in the unconscious of many individual woman and the collective uncsonsious. The expectation that we’ll give everything we have to those around us even when we have nothing left to give.
This is an energy flow more aligned with the Yang frequency, a flow of outwardness, expansion, and unending. However, it is discoloured by the toxic influence of our current paradigm with that vibe of obligation.
It’s a dangerous cocktail, particularly for women, as collectively we’ve bought into the false belief that this is a feminine energy.
In truth, the feminine frequency in this equation is receiving. It’s an inward flow that resonates with the vibrations of filling, sustenance, and completion. This side of the scales is ignored and, more often than not, rebuffed because so many of us are deeply immersed in the vibration of not good enough. Read more about this concept in my new book.
To be in harmony with the sacred feminine it’s vital that you learn how to receive. So, I have a challenge for you!
Give yourself permission to truly receive all that comes to you.
When it comes to the energy of receiving, often the biggest obstacle to overcome is the idea of worthiness. That, and the idea that you have to do something in exchange for it to be OK for you to receive.
Truly allowing yourself to receive can be a really uncomfortable sensation. I’ve got some great exercises in my book to help work through this sensation.
But my 3 hot tips for you right now as we enter the downhill run are as follows.
3 Hot tips to amp up your receiving energy
🔥 Do absolutely nothing!
This tip works best when you have some downtime. Take yourself out into nature and do absolutely nothing. Sit, stand or lie for a few moments only, or for as long as you want, and simply observe. Notice how your body feels, what your senses notice, and know that as you sit in peace doing nothing you are receiving the:
- healing of nature
- exchange of free electrons
- opportunity to come into coherence with the Schumann resonance.
🔥 Ask yourself why.
This is your opportunity to explore what you are receiving by giving. As you make your shopping lists, and Santa preparations and all the good things that go with Christmas, bring your curiosity into play and question what you’re doing.
- Why am I doing this?
- How come I feel the need to do this particular thing?
- What am I receiving here?
- Is this pleasurable, painful or necessary?
- How could I change this so that my experience of Christmas is filling, and sustaining, and leaves me feeling complete?
🔥 Notice all the things that come to you unasked.
How do you know when to receive if you don’t know what’s being given to you? This tip is all about just noticing. Notice the gifts that come your way and, this is the key bit, notice how you respond to these unexpected gifts. How do they make you feel? Why?
Your gifts could be:
- a smile from a stranger
- being let into the queue in front of someone else
- a compliment
- a beautiful fragrance drifting into your senses
- a quiet moment all to yourself.
Receiving is as natural and easy as breathing, even when we formalise and make ceremonies around gift-giving. Your ability to engage with this Yin energy resides in your willingness to notice and accept your worthiness to receive what’s being given.
Chances are you are constantly being given opportunities to raise your receiving frequency. Are you open to them?
Amplify your receiving frequency this Christmas!
Learn how you can give and receive at the same time!
Here’s a bonus tip, consider it my Christmas gift to you.
Overdose on the love drug—oxytocin. It’s free, so easy, and a much nicer addiction than stress or fear.
This is the simplest way to get your fix on Christmas day: if you don’t already have hugs included in your gift exchange ritual, include them now! Increase their potency by taking the time to fully immerse yourself in the wordless exchange of love and gratitude, care and appreciation that hugs embody.
And to feed your love-drug appetite on the days beyond Christmas I invite you to start a new daily habit. When enough hugs aren’t on offer every day, give yourself a hug. The benefit of evoking the frequency of love and gratitude can’t be underestimated.
To help you, I’ll hand you over to my beautiful friend and acclaimed Hug Therapist, Shirley Ann Lawler, to receive her therapeutic self-hugging technique. You can watch it here, or read it here.